Bummer!

Hey friends and family ...

As you all know, I have not updated my blog in several weeks (months?)... so sorry! Things have been a little crazy around here ... but the truth of the matter is that there have been some issues regarding this blog, so I am going to establish a new blog ... this one WILL be private and WILL only be available who request permission to view it. 

I absolutely love to share stories from my life, and I have always been and will always be a writer .... I love to document my feelings and emotions through written word (good or bad) and don't feel as though my feelings need to be critiqued by others as I am writing this for me, and my babies, and no one else. If you don't like what I have to say, well, my friends, ignore it. 

My email is arianabanks@hotmail.com ... if you would like to be invited to share in my new blogging world, please send me an email and I'd be happy to send that your way! 

ABC Academy!

So folks... we're halfway there ... I have completed the final steps to be a licensed home daycare and am just waiting for the licensing agent to do our home walkthrough. We have a few home improvement projects to complete in the backyard and basement but otherwise we're looking good! 

Here's a link to my temporary website until my fabulous sister has my permanent site (which is UBER CUTE) up and running!

http://www.abcacademycolorado.wordpress.com 

I want to go outside!

Danika is your typical woman :) She is talking in these string of words that are only decipherable to her. At certain times, she repeats those strings of words over and over. TODAY! TOday I figured one of them out! She was standing at the backdoor pointing and getting excited. I can't even pretend to document what her sounds might look like in writing ... but after about 4 or 10 times of repeating it, I figured it out! She was saying " I want to go outside!" HA! She's a genius. And when I responded with "Oh! You want to go outside? I'm sorry baby not right now, it's dinner time", she kinda sighed, smiled and walked over to her high chair. Because she is that smart. And I am too! 

We had a rough, rough day. We were taking care of a couple of kids, and it was snowing and all around a crapper. I was chasing her down the hall for the millionth time and took my attention off her for 2 seconds to see why the other baby was crying. I hear this ear piercing slow, drawn out shriek, and look down to see Danika's finger wedged into the door hinges I was closing. OMG! I am the worst mommy ever! Oh how my heart broke into a million pieces. It was the worst feeling ever knowing I had hurt her : ( We cried together for a LONG time - in fact, by the time we had stopped, her finger was so red and swollen I swore I had broken it. I think there may just be a blood blister there in the end, but it was awful. The worst moment ever. It made it a LEETLE better when we shared some butterscotch chips ;) 

This little girl makes me cry in the best ways possible. Nate handed her to me to say goodnight. She curled up on my lap and snuggled her head into my shoulder (best ever). I loved on her and kissed her and apologized (AGAIN) for her finger. And ya know what she did? She pulled away, looked up and pursed her lips for a kiss, as if saying "It's okay momma, I love you anyway!" Ahhhhhh ... how I melted into a pile of mush. She has the best timing! It was THE perfect goodnight. Then of course she wrapped herself around me and snuggled in for a hug. It was one of my very favorite moments, ever. 

This mommy thing. Hardest and most wonderful position in the world. 

Forgotten

Do you have those moments when you feel invisible? Like the time when someone pulls right out in front of you and goes 1/2 of the speed limit? Or the times when you sit at a restaurant table waiting 10 minutes or more for a server to approach you? Lately I feel invisible. 

Or maybe it's more like forgotten. I feel like I try SO hard NOT to be the person that always gets taken advantage of, that somehow I've completely missed the boat and am the epitomy of that person. I guess maybe it's loneliness ... that I really want to be everyone's friend, and be recognized as the person who will do anything for them (because I will) ... that I get overlooked all the time. Maybe it's because people think I just don't care? Or maybe they're too busy running over me to notice that I DO, in fact, care. 

I don't blame people - just myself. I blame myself for not speaking up loud enough or enough times when something is important. I blame myself for bending over backwards for people who I know wont do the same for me. I blame myself for not seeking out the right type of people. I really don't think people intend to treat me the way they do - some, maybe - but most, nah. 

Lately I feel like the invisible work horse. I feel like I'm constantly going. Going going going going. And rarely is it ever for my benefit. Mostly for Nate, Danika (mostly Danika), family, friends ... occasionally it's because I REALLY want to do something despite knowing my limitations. But all that I do is unrecognized and unappreciated by many. I dont expect a thank you or a present or any form of recognition ... but it sure would be nice to know that my feelings matter to those people that I work so hard for and that I'm recognized as person. 

I LOVE my crockpot!

We received many wedding gifts that we are just so grateful for, even two years later! My very, very favorite, though? My crockpot ;) That thing is SO useful and creates meals that last FOREVER! 

Tonights creation was Mediterranean Stuffed Peppers ... WOW! SOunds complicated, right? I thought so. Except they so weren't. The only "complicate" was deciding whether to make the couscous BEFORE putting it in the peppers prior to cooking, or to leave it as a dry mix before adding. I left it dry because it was easier ... what the heck? I have leftover ziti if it gets screwed up! 

I discovered earlier today that my sister and momma were stopping by for dinner on the way to their hotel ... I had only planned for peppers, no side dishes because Nate had his men's bible study tonight. So I made the peppers, left 'em in the crockpot (which happens to cook twice as fast as every recipe calls for) ... and ran out for the extras! 

We (danika helped ALOT) made a nice green salad and a pot of sauteed sweet potatoes and apples with brown sugar and chai mix ... delicious! And for dessert??

Jaime found a delicious "top secret recipe" for Starbucks peppermint brownies. OMG! Even I will not be able to go through these in less than  a week ... so rich and scrumptious.

************************************************************************************

Danika has more words to add to the list ... Help! No thank you! Elmo! Book!  Up! Down! 

This kid just amazes me every day. She has such a sweet heart, so enthusiastic about trying EVERYTHING ... so courageous and social ... it's such a gift to watch her learn and grow everyday ... it's as if everyday there is a brand new Danika in front of me ... every morning I wake up wondering what she will learn or do today! I love it. My life is happy. 

Baked Ziti!

I am REALLY getting into this cooking adventure of mine! Prior to me starting to care for kids we were on a SUPER tight grocery budget, and spreading meals super thin. Now I'm budgeting a bit more so we can upgrade to better ingredients, and adding more organic versus not. Did you see the recent article that a certain pesticide that's used in HUGE amounts in the US can change a frog's sex from male to female? REALLY? And people wonder why there are so many health issues nowadays, yet no one wants to acknowledge that these organic farmers might have something worth looking into. 

So tonight's menu? A baked ziti dish! I'll post the link below because  it was amazing! But, of course, I doubled the cheese mixture because I absolutely am addicted and in love with cheese :) It was so easy and Danika loved helping me dump and mix. We added garlic bread and carrots with ranch dressing. 

http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/baked-ziti-with-crunchy-italian-salad-and-garlic-bread?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/meatless-comfort-food#slide_14

D said a new word today! And I have to add "book" to the list from last night. Her new word? YELLOW! Does she know the meaning? Nah, only when I point to something and say "yellow", but it's a step. My girl is a stinking genius. 

New words!

Danika is in that stage where she's a sponge ...  new words are popping up like crazy and we're learning to watch out language a little bit more. Or saying "peanut butter!" afterwards. 

Here's her current list of words, though I know I'm forgetting some. 

Momma, Dadda, Poppy, Oma (MMMMMMma), stinky, thank you, please, baby, dog, spoon, BOO!, bear, hat, all done, hello! (when the phone rings), bye bye, drink, milk, brrrr (cold), NO!, yes, shhhh!, hi!, ball, bubbles, apples, and the list goes on :) 

Thought I'd share! Today at the mall we were playing with another mom/baby friend named Anna, and she totally got it! "Anna". I also believe she copied me when I called her a "noodle" the other day, though it came out as "doodoo". 

She mumbles and strings together words that are formed into sentences, but are still indistinguishable. She knows exactly what she's saying to her baby, dog, etc ... in the meantime it just makes us giggle and shake our heads, wondering just what is going on in that little head of hers.