Christmas

is OVER and I want some warm weather! It seems the cold is okay, as long as it has a purpose - like giving me  a white Christmas - but there is no purpose to it now that I can't afford to ski or drive into the mountains to snowshoe! I'd much rather have some nice warm sun to take D for walks or play at the park. It makes the days so much more interesting when its warm. 

Christmas Eve, nate and i ordered pizza (NICE!) and then went on a tour of broomfield Christmas lights. I got all of us some hot chocolate, including D!, and we oohed and ahed. Nate and I decided that since we did last year, we might as well make it a tradition to open gifts to each other on Christmas eve, so Christmas can be about the kiddos and what Santa brought them. I loved it - how fun! 

Christmas was great! It's so fun to be Santa and watch D open gifts and listen to the charming "ooooohs" that last all of 10 seconds before shes bored and moving on to the next one. I sure love being a mommy! Nate was surprised with a sirius radio for his long travels to work, but I was the most surprised of all. He received an unexpected bonus that he kept secret - and bought me a Wii Fit plus AND ... duh duh duh ... a kitchenaid! I'm so excited. Something to make me gain weight, and something to help take it off :) 

We spent Christmas morning together as a family - it was REALLY nice. We did our thing, then went to the Hall family for dinner and gifts. it was a delicious dinner of various fondues. We opened presents and came home, to pass out from exhaustion a mere half hour later. 

On Saturday we woke and drove up to Cheyenne WY to spend the weekend with my family. My parents bought us a fancy new printer AND ... duh duh duh ... an ice cream machine! FUN! I'm so excited! Momma also got all the girl some nice woolrich slippers- deliciously comfortable and warm. My papa got all of us, including D, a nalgene water bottle (sippy cup) - YES! Love those :) AND of course, McCalisters gift card. SIlly guy! It was fun- we hung out, ate some good chow and (they) watched Harry Potter. 

It was a really neat day weekend - busy, but super fun. I really miss having my family all together. 

Outrageous Love

Since before Thanksgiving Nate and I have been collecting donations of money or items for a family in need. Our church allows people to nominate families in need each year and other families can adopt them. Because Nate and I don't have the ability to fully adopt a family and give them a nice Christmas, we asked those around us ... families, friends and coworkers ... for help. What an amazing turnout! There was close to $500 in donations! Below is an email I sent to those who gave to this family ... I just wanted to share this story with you :)

When I was growing up, my parents always donated items for Toys for Tots, and brought delicious goodies to the military men and women who were on duty on Christmas/Christmas Eve. It was a very good lesson for all of us kids in the value of giving to those who are less fortunate than you. Though I love and strongly encourage people to give to Toys for Tots, and other like organizations, it was really humbling and beautiful to watch these folks open their gifts and to see the appreciation for each and every one. I will email the mom and ask her to send pictures, as I forgot my camera, but she took many! I will forward them on when I get them! 

When we arrived it was immediately obvious this family was very close and had a lot of love to share, but not a whole lot more. The little boy, Daxton, saw the gifts and went ballistic! It was great to watch his excitement. I packed the clothes, pjs and blanket he was given in one big diaper box, cuz I have a lot of those laying around... when he pulled out the blanket, he yelled "new carpet!" It was pretty hysterical. 

We shared cookies and hot chocolate as they opened gifts and shared stories. There was raw emotion about the father of the family who passed away the day before Thanksgiving. As gifts were opened, there were many warm smiles and hearts over puzzles, games, and books that were given. Then came the tears as they opened bags containing the essentials - hats, gloves, etc. Also in those bags were gifts cards to home depot and target. I cannot tell you how well spent your money will be. They showed us old outlets that were sparking and in very dangerous condition, and a door that could probably be knocked down with a single blow as it was like cardboard. This family had no room in their budget for the simple things - outlets, pajamas, gloves, hats, a Christmas dinner. Please know your gifts are very appreciated and will be handled with intention and care. 

I made homemade hot chocolate which seemed to be a nice treat for all of us. However, at the end of the visit, Daxton (5years old) yelled "the hot cocoa is nasty!" His poor parents were just mortified. It turns out he liked it BEFORE he dissolved his cookies into it, and just wanted a fresh glass:) 

On the border of sounding completely tacky, this evening was a gift and reminder for me to be thankful for the deadbolt on my door to keep the nasties away, and a carbon monoxide detector in our home. It turns out I knew the eldest of the ladies in the family as a door greeter in the Wal Mart by our house - we always smiled and exchanged greetings, but I just figured she was like my dad, who would enjoy a job like that in his retirement. It turns out she's barely hanging on, and clinging to memories of her son in law, and helping her daughter get through the loss of her beloved husband. Its amazing how much a sweet smile can hide! 

Thank you to all of you for selflessly contributing your hard earned money to provide Christmas for this family. They are working really hard to turn their situation around and be able to do this for another family someday! I hope you all have a wonderful CHristmas with your families ... blessings! 

Friends

CBC girls, this is for you :) 

Lately, I have been really missing my CBC girls - my old group of girlfriends from high school. Which is so weird to me, because I haven't seen hardly any of them for 9, almost 10 years. Occasionally I get to see one or two as they drive through or come to visit the other CBC girl who moved to Denver. But I never even see her! It's crazy! 

I've made many a friend in my short life - moving every so often, it kinda builds this ability to make friends easily. Or so I thought. That lasted until college. In high school, my girls automatically loved on me, accepted me for all the weirdness I was. I invaded their group of friends who had grown up together, and somehow I became one of theirs. Of the 9 (10?) of us, there was a WIDE range of personalities - from the Olympic athlete don't get in my way Erin, to the uber sweet and loving Lori to the go getter, hurt nobody Kira. Also included was the bright and vibrant Tess, and total California girl Liz, who now lives in Denver! Somehow ... somehow these personalities meshed into a senior year full of fun, laughter and a million memories that came to a screeching halt for me when they invaded my home the morning I left for college withloads of hugs and goodbyes. 

I went to college. The world was now tainted. With super hot boys, alcohol, and people who were no where close to my CBC girls. Other females lied and manipulated and stole boyfriends. In the adult world, those friends were friends who were only friends when they wanted something. Like teachers who didnt want to work, but rather wanted to mooch off the efforts of a dedicated and passionate colleague. 

And now. I'm a mommy. And I have met SO many wonderful mommy friends. But its so hard to keep my mouth shut and eyebrows unraised and face expressionless as they let their childs slap others or grab toys away without a single blink. I miss my deep, talk about anything friendships I had with my girls.

What's funny about that is that when I've seen Liz or Erin or Lori in the past few years - its obvious we have changed and grown into adults with our own personalities.  But that comfort level is still there. I still cant wait to see them when I go to San Diego (HOLLA!) for my reunion next summer. My skin itches to hug them and see how they've grown and the beautiful people who are now their family members or significant others. How I would love to have them out in Denver so we could go on CBC adventures in the Colorado wilderness together! 

My CBC girls - if you are reading ;) - I am not the best keep in toucher, but know I think about you tons and wish I could do cocktails and lunches with you. I'm so proud of the people you have turned into - you are the most loving, kind hearted people I know and I am so blessed to have been adopted by you 10 years ago. I love you dearly and can't wait to see you again! 

How could I forget?

I forgot Danika's favorite new word ... credit goes to Nate for teaching her this one while changing her diaper .... READY ... her favorite word is ... duh duh duh ... 

STINKYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! 

It's HALERIOUS! Yes I spelled that wrong on purpose. When she poos I ask her if she's stinky and she roams around the house, nose wrinkled, yelling "STINKY!" with a huge grin. HASTERICAL! It's going to embarrassing one of these days. As of right now she only does it at home when prompted. I dread the day when she says it about someone else. 

She also tried to say "moo!" "meow" and "ruff" today when learning animal sounds. The pride on her face reminds me of my own dad and brother and the look they get on their face when they say something they think is histerical. But it's not. It's really not. Except sometims it is. 

Now that Danika is walking everywhere, we've gotten quite a few laughs as she gives "the bonk" from a stand. She will stand at the end of the hall, dip her head forward and look up at you until you come bump foreheads with her. Again. HASTERICAL! What's funny is that now Nate and I do it to each other as an "I love you" - when Danika is 18 and we're still doing it she will be so embarrassed, yet it is all her fault :) 

Winter and Words

I'm sitting here on my couch ... we bought a fireplace soundtrack that plays a fireplace and/or piano or guitar Christmas carols. I put some cinnamon sticks, cloves, and dried apples to boil on the stove... mmmmm ... it feels like Christmas around here! BRRRRRR! Holy coldness! The last few days/nights the temps have been in the negative digits and it is just ridiculous! On Monday I watched a friend's little boy ALL day (12 hours!) and I must say ... it was fun, but I was going stir crazy as I refused to take 2 one year olds into -10 degree weather and wind. We played with a LOT of playdough...

My little Danika! She is in SUCH a fun stage! I'm having a blast, as always. She is walking, everywhere - which makes me sad because her little crawling bootie was just SO cute. It wiggled faster the faster she wanted to go! I look at her and see this big, big girl who can do so much now. And then I see her glee over feeding the dog, or watch her play in the bathtub and it reminds me I still have a little while before she really is too big. I know it'll go fast, though. 

When her buddy was over on Monday, they played chase around the kitchen island for EVER! It was so funny! And every time they caught each other it was like this huge surprise! I got a lot of laughs that day :) 

Danika is in the very beginning of the I'm going to copy everything you do stage. She pretend coughs, sneezes, burps, farts, laughs, etc. She even learned to shoosh me the other night! What?! I have a ten year old in the house now! She loves to play chase - and when she sees me getting close she wrinkles up her little nose and squeals and squeals. SO funny! 

SHe's talking up a storm, too. Her words now include : Juice, dog, momma, dada, baby, this, that, apple, shhh!, hi!, shoe and I think I'm forgetting a few. She blows kisses and gives regular kisses and runs over with her arms in the air and throws herself on you with all her might when you ask her for a hug or for some love. She is a snuggler, too! When she wakes up from a nap or in the morning, she loves to lay down on my chest and I rub/tickle her back for a good 10 minutes. It's my favorite time of the day :) Then she sits straight up and gives me a big, wrinkled nose smile ... holds for a minute, then falls back down on me ready for some more back tickles. Silly! 

What else is new... hmm ... Nate's job is keeping him busy busy! He calls it stress, I call it job security :) I'm working part time, now, too ... I work one shift a week at a gym daycare where I can bring Danika with me. I'm also working for a company contracted through CO Dept of Ed as an after school tutor which starts MONDAY! Yaya! ANd I'm so lucky to have friends that'll watch D so she's in a safe place with kiddos her age :) 

We're MOVING! Yes, again. We're moving into a very cute and quaint 3 bedroom house with a huge unfinished basement and gigantic backyard! I'm so excited to have some ROOM! We start moving in mid- January! 

I know I keep promising pictures - they'll be here soon :) 

Laughter

If you know me at all, you know that I am very conscientious about how I am perceived by others. I'm very aware of social etiquette, though it may not always seem that way :) Well, lately I've noticed that going out the window. I am having SO much fun with Danika. She's in such a crazy fun stage, though it also has it's pitfalls, too.

I find myself walking through Target grocery shopping and blowing raspberries or other ridiculous noises to keep her giggling. I will do just about anything to see that litte girl smile. Her beautiful, precious grin melts me. It reminds me to enjoy the simple things, such as chocolate, soda (toda! - NO I do not give it to her, I have no  idea how she knows that word), her daddy, and her dog. Her excitement over cheese, bananas and eggs is overwhelming! She almost jumps out of her highchair when she sees a scrambled egg coming her way - it's HI sterical! 

Yesterday was a blahish day for me - worries came at me left and right and I spent most of the morning away from her in a training. I felt like I had no QT with her, like she was neglected the whole day - and even fell asleep for the night before eating dinner or having a night time milk. I felt HORRIBLE! BUT TODAY! TODAY was fun! 

After breakfast we spent about 1/2 an hour chasing each other (more on that later). Then we went to playgroup where she played with her buddies and snuck a few treats from the other mommas. From there we came home and took a nap (well, she did ... i finally got to vacuum!)  and had lunch. As I made lunch she sat on the floor of the kitchen with a bowl of water and about 5 measuring cups. It was so fun to watch her fascination and her oohs and aahs. Silly :) 

THEN ... we made playdough :) It made me feel like I was 5 again. Her squeals of delight as the playdough squished through her fingers was priceless. It was utter and total joy for about 15 minutes. I hooked up the gates, closed all the doors and we, again, chased each other through our little apartment. 

I took her Christmas shopping for about an hour, then we had dinner AND ... chased each other some more! 

This girl is so fun! SHe makes me laugh so hard! She starts at one end of the room, gets my attention, then TAKES off running and hides behind the couch. Then she giggles hysterically, and peeks out from behind the couch to make sure i'm chasing her. When she sees me she collapses into a fit of laughter and squeals some more when I 'get' her. THen I get on all fours and scurry away and she comes running after me and throws her whole body on my back. This gets repeated about 25 times or until I'm exhausted. We both laugh so hard, it's ridunculous. 

These are the moments I'll remember :) I hope. 

It's amazing what I will do to hear her laugh, or for us to laugh together. It's so neat to feel our little bond get stronger and stronger. She is such a special, beautiful little girl sometimes it's hard to believe she's mine. What a gift I have! 

Stages

What a great weekend! 

Nate and I rotate family holidays so we can create special memories with both of our families. This year we were on schedule to visit Ari's family for turkey day, but because of dad's work schedule and siblings out of town, we layed low and saved gas money :) It was a bummer - Thanksgiving is one of my favorites - good food, family, no pressure for good gifts - just nice time with family. And lots of CHEESE! But we had fun anyway - Nate and D played and set up the Christmas tree while listening to Christmas carols and I cooked away. I never truly appreciated Thanksgiving dinner until I cooked it myself ... wow - what a lot of work for 5 minutes of chowing! I made a glazed ham for Nate, cranberry apple stuffing, sweet potatoes and apples, green bean casserole, cranberry/goat cheese fake chicken, fruit salad and coconut cream pie. 

Except I forgot to put the pie shell in the oven before I filled it, SO. We had raw pie crust for our pie. Delicious. 

We went for a nice long walk and then Ari prepared her black friday shopping plans :) It was a great day :) 

It made me think about stages. It seems odd to me that in the last ten years I have gone from simply eating mom's delicious meal, to being in college and wondering where/who Thanksgiving would be, to being an adult and participating in the cooking, to being the MOM who makes the meal. It has gone by so fast! I love my new role, but it makes me sad, too. Im old. 

Speaking of stages, Danika Grace is not slowing down either! That girl! Whew. She is literally running all over the house. Apartment. Whatever. It's fun, but exhausting! We chase each other and play hide and seek - in the one year old kinda way. I let her stir my cake batters and sometimes she even gets to lick the spoon. It's fun being a momma and thinking back to those memories with my own mom and grandmamma. 

But as she learns her new "tricks' like smacking me in the face, she's forgetting her old ones - like the "bonk" ... for those who have seen the bonk, it's priceless - such a sweet and adorable - and hysterical - gesture! I miss it :( Her latest - "Uh ooooooooooh!" sounds more like "Uh eeeeeeew!" -- cute, and yet incredibly obnoxious after 23 rounds of "dropping" the sippy cup. 

SHe also is LOVING falling down - she thinks it's hysterical!  I throw her ball at her and it lands in front of her or on her. And she waits 2 seconds. Then falls dramatically backwards and cracks up. HYSTERICAL! I swear, this kid is more entertaining than any tv show or comedian. I laugh o much at her! How can people not love being a momma? These memories are priceless! 

I went shopping Friday :) I found the LAST gps at walmart - 60 bucks! AND - two presents for Nate (he reads so I can't share til Christmas) - a feather comforter with two king sized pillows - a family Christmas present and a small one for a friend of ours - ugh- this sucks! Everyone reads so I cant' share my treasures! DRRRRRR! But the best part was seeing my good friend and college roomie, Erika - she met me nice and early and we gabbed and had our Pumpkin spice lattes! I miss those days of being single with the girls, sometimes too. 

I'm rambling. I think I'm done for tonight. PIctures coming soon :)

YAYA!

I like a challenge ... Black Friday - bring it! Updates to come soon :) 

So Grateful

Of course, like everyone else in the blogging world, I am reflecting tonight on who and what I am grateful for. The list is long, but I'll keep it to a minimum :) 

I know I rave about Danika and how much I love her and couldn't live without her ... but without HIM I wouldn't have HER. I am so thankful for that sweet husband of mine, that Nato. We have had a VERY long road with TONS of ups and downs (it seems like the ups are finally outnumbering the downs) ... but he's my best friend and love of my life. We met two years ago Dec 2 and had no idea the journey that lay before us. He is such a gift that I am so blessed to have :) 

And of course that Danika girl. WHat a sweetie pie - her little smile just lights up my world. Every day brings a new adventure and new reason to laugh. She has turned my world upside down since the moment we found out we were expecting her - she has made me want to be a better person and has brought Nate and I closer together. 

My parents :) OOOOH they irritate me sometimes! But man what an example they have led. I just recently found myself in Select Comfort for the 15th time asking the same question to another salesman that I had asked 3 others just to compare answers and realized that, um wow - somewhere along the way that dad guy had an impact! YIKES! He drives me nuts with the way he shops and yet here I am, doing the same thing. My parents ... and grandparents ... such wonderful, patient, hardworking, honest people - it's no wonder I turned out so great! I'm so lucky and grateful to have had such wonderful examples to learn from and who's influence will trickle down through me to Danika. 

My siblings - tori, jj and brady man. THey irritate me, too :) But in a good way - because they care and want what's best. When we were younger we fought. A lot. but we also had many a great lizard chases and tree climbing adventures - and shared chicken kabobs at the Chicken shak in Japan. I wouldn't trade 'em for anything. In college they taught me how to drink, how to stop drinking so much and how to pretend like I wasn't drunk :) Now we enjoy a glass of wine together occasionally and chat over the newest adventures in our own personal lives as though we have been great friends this whole time. 

My dog. He puts up with me, despite my anger rages (not at him. sometimes at him) and lets my baby girl throw herself all over him without a single flinch. He always greets me with a wagging tail and lots and lots of love. Especially when I am sad or lonely.

Honestly. People say things like this but I truly mean it (not saying they dont). I am so thankful for this beautiful country and the people who serve and lead it. I watched my dad hop on a train out of town many a time when I was younger - and now watch many a friend leave their wives and children behind. I cannot imagine how much that would just tear me to pieces every single time. But yet, here I am - going to my church, speaking my mind and living a life free of oppression and hatred - because of the sacrifice of so many. 

Kids. I'm thankful for all kids. because they remind us to smile. Even that obnoxious boogar whose running around walmart on thanksgiving eve - the utter joy in his face over his mother buying a cherry pie - the small things in life are important, too. 

I'm grateful for the life I lead. I'm grateful my parents taught me how to choose a good man - who will teach my daughter to choose a good man. I'm thankful I have one - that supports my decisions and works selflessly so that I can be home to watch Danika take her first steps and blow her first kiss. I'm grateful for the many friends I have that remind me to breathe and enjoy the now. I'm so thankful I have people acting as silent guardian angels- watching my back, or for stumbling blocks I might trip over because I'm too busy watching my daughter (again). I'm grateful that my parents taught me how to be independent, and the importance of a good education. I'm grateful for the sheer beauty found in a Colorado sunset. 

I'm not sure that I could continue to write and list all the things I'm thankful for. Because there are not the words. I am blessed. Despite the hardships I encounter, it could be so much worse. Happy Thanksgiving!

Perfect

I had SUCH a great day! I have to share :) 

SO ... to begin with that dear husband of mine *left* for work, only to return 20 minutes later with a zebra mocha (starbucks) for me! What a way to start the day. I kinda planted the idea in his head, but it was his idea to actually do it! 

AND THEN! I went to an interview at a health club in Boulder. And I was hired. Before I left the building. And I get to work part time. And I get to bring Danika with me. WHAT?! HOLLER! The perfect scenario.

Why am I working might you ask? I love doulaing ... but until I build a better support system around myself for Danika's childcare, I need to back off. So I'm going to take only 1 client a month. BUT while I work part time and doula occasionally ... both my momma and I are going to work on teaching Signing Smart sign language classes! 

ANywho, back to my great day. So, I get back home from my interview to my apartment to find my brother waiting for me to take him to the airport ... and in his hand? A Pumpkin Spice latte! LOVE THAT! TWO coffees! 

I get home, Danika is ASLEEP! AND she stays asleep for a total of 3.5 hours! NICE! Except I'm too wired from having two coffees that I can't nap :( SO what do I do? Hang out with my computer of course! ANd what do I find? Nate has found the perfect home for us to move into and we get ot see it TOMORROW! And then ? I check my email and have TWO doula clients lined up (in one day!) AND another doula asking me to mentor her! I'm excited. 

It was like 70 degrees, too. WEll maybe 55, but it was still warm. So I got to take my mandog for a walk and pushed D on the swings (her FAVORITE!). What a perfect day. Perfect. I should have bought a lottery ticket. 

Danika's Latest and Greatest

I share with many friends and family members how shocked I am at the change in her in the last month. Some great news talents have surfaced. So have some no so greats. ugh. 

My girl :) SHe has THE sweetest smile in the entire world. One that melts your heart and makes you forget about the latest smack in the face she just shared with you. Yes, folks, we have a hitter. That little hand HURTS man! And boy does she gear up for it too. She raises it up high, waits for me to say "no" then BAM, right into the face. And then she laughs. Really?  WHo taught her that? 

She does say several words now! I have a little jabberbox! The discernable ones include "HI!" (many times in a row), Dog, "Doggeeeeeee!", pretty, this, that, mama, dada, tree. ANd there's more that she's said once or twice but never again (cat, hot, for example). And she signs! She signs more, please (sometimes) light, milk, fan, and probably one or two more that I haven't picked up on yet. She understands my signs of stop, dance, music, and in/out. So fun! 

THis girl LOVES music! She hears a song, even if just a commercial, stops what shes doing and sways and bounces back and forth, all the while humming along or singing "doo doo dooooo!" 

She gives hugs and kisses which are by far my very favorite things in the entire world. THere is nothing like your baby girl walking towards you, grinning the whole time, then throwing herself on you with a big hug, arms around your neck and an open mouth on your cheek. SO SWEET!  IT makes me cry sometimes :) 

Did you say walking, Ari? Why yes I did! ANd it's real this time, not just one or two steps. This girl is on it! She is all over the place and into everything! SHe hasn't perfected it yet, and when she has figured out she's doing it for show, she'll cheat and fall down half way and crawl the rest but when she has the chance to walk she does! Some mommy friends recently commented that I've lost a few pounds. I'd say, um yes, that is quite possible as I am now running after  my little munchkin and her conquest of the dog. 

There's so much more this little girl is doing! I'll post pictures later. But for now I suppose I ought to go take away that plastic bag :) 

Entitled

I'm not quite sure what exactly my generation is called ... I call it Generation Entitled. And I would give anything for that to change. I am so tired of encountering people around my age and younger who have this sense of entitlement, as though there is a Gingersnap Pickeschnickle, Entitled. 

My most current frustrations include the following ...

 people who get are entering the highway and give you nasty looks when you don't yield to THEM. What? Basic Driver's Ed. 

Nate's example: He makes a phone call to offer someone a job- they respond by asking him to call back later, as they are trying on clothes at walmart at the moment. 

People who hurry up to get to the door before you (when you are pushing a stroller) and then let the door close in your face (or on your child's feet).

At Wal Mart ... people who just walk right into the middle of the aisle without looking for oncoming "traffic". And then they glare at you as if YOU were supposed to stop for their heiness. 

And the simple fact that there is seriously not an ounce left of customer service. Anywhere. Except Nordstroms where I cannot afford to shop. 

When I began my first waitressing job, as much as I despise Red RObin, we were opening the restaurant and  had some SERIOUS training. The one rule of thumb? The CUSTOMER is always right. And when you and the customer are walking towards each other ... get out of the way and let them through! I am so annoyed that it is the norm now to be pushed out of the way (esssentially) by a store employee whose in a hurry to go on lunch. Really? How incredibly rude. 

I went to visit my sister who lives on a military base in Cheyenne, WY. Let me tell you, I never in my life thought I'd be in a hurry to get back there. Until I was reminded of what military life is about. People who respect others, ESPECIALLY women and children ... even though it's kinda the rule...what a nice rule to have. And men who DON'T cuss in front of kids? AMAZING. 

People who says "yes please" and "thank you" and step aside to let the elderly through. And even more incredible - even the kids on the base know what flag ettiquette is. My first year of teaching I was absolutely shocked and appalled as the national anthem was sung at an assembly and not a single student stood. THAT is despicable. 

I once heard a quote, which I will never know the truth of for myself ... "it is hard to be soldier. It is even harder to love a soldier." I would never want to be in my sister's shoes ... watching her husband leave for Afghanistan, packing their belongings up every few years to head somewhere based on someone else's decision. But it sure would be nice to live in that community. Plus the food is cheap :) So maybe one day, if Nate agrees ... maybe I can teach for DOD schools and we can live at least CLOSE to such a world of respect and love of country. 

SO ... aparently I had some ranting on my mind ... not sure I stayed on track ... but that's what happens I suppose. 

Technology

I once hated it. I cursed at computers (still do), yelled at cell phones dropping calls (still do) and have practically thrown the tv across the room. 

People say that technology kills relationships. It does. If not used correctly (um, can we say World of Warcraft ... ?) But ya know ... as always, I have my piece to say about this ... 

Without my beautiful Macbook, I would be so lost. It takes me seconds to look up whether Danika is supposed to have that bump where she got a shot. Or how long that cough should last. Or what the dosage for baby tylenol is for a 3 month old. I get to read about my bff from high school (hi Kira!) and her BEAUTIFUL baby boys and what a great mom she is now. I do a quick check on facebook (um...several times a ... hour) and see a picture of my college buddy (Hi Sarah!) sportin' a cute maternity top and showing off her cute belly! If I need a quick pick me up (hi mom!) I can *whooosh* open up ichat and have a cup of morning joe with my own momma and let her give me a talking to and pep talk. I get morning updates on my crafting blogs which give me tons of free patterns to sew for Danika- saving me HUNDREDS of dollars (kinda) ...

Do I go overboard on facebook? SURE I DO! It's fun and I get to know my friends just a little better and hear about their day and get advice from other mommies. I feel MORE connected to people than I did several years ago. I found my CBC girls and get to watch them grow in their different stages of life! I get to see wedding pictures from people who are hundreds of miles away that I would NEVER get to see in reality. And most importantly, I get that little beep on my cell phone and see a quick email from Nato letting me know he thinks I'm beautiful. Now who can say THAT is bad? 

It can be. Technology is one of those things ... too much of a good thing can be deadly. So get off your computer and kiss your hubby! (or your dog if his name is Jack, Peanut, Fletch, Banjo or any other)

Added years

I sit here eating my very fall-esque lunch (at 230) of butternut squash soup and a honey crisp apple (and an oreo...shhhh) and I am pondering. Because my daughter now takes a 3 hour afternoon nap. ANd I love it. Is that bad? I feel guilty. Again :) It's the 3 hours during the day my little apartment appears to be clean. 

I took Danika on a bike ride today (her very first) and she LOVED it. She was practically screaming "WHEEE!" the whole time. SO cute. We wound up at a huge park and being that it's somewhere around 80 degrees in November, we took advantage of it. I pushed her on the swing for awhile (her favorite) and then let her climb up the slide. I swear to you, she must have climbed up it 85 times. And then slid down on her tummy. And every time, without a moment of hesitation, up she went again. She was so determined to get to the top time after time after time. 

These little people! There are so many articles that debate whether people with children live longer or happier. The last one I read was on the "yes" side of that debate with the simple explanation that children simply make you want to be a better person. SO true! 

This little girl reminds me daily to find joy in the smallest places ... for her, a delicious crumb found on the carpet ... for me, simply savoring a scrumptious cup of chai in the morning and reveling in the fact that I get to watch my daughter grow up every single day. When I'm tempted to yell at that idiot who doesn't know how to put his foot on the gas pedal, a single glance in my rearview mirror reminds why I shouldn't. When Nate and I get "into it" and want to let each other have it, her simple presence reminds us to speak in a reasonable tone and to pick our battles. 

Shoot. If you had seen my living space three years ago as compared to now. That little girl saved me from my own mess! I was too busy 3 years ago to care ... now? the living room is vacuumed daily and it KILLS me to see my kitchen dirty. Who IS this person I've become? Three years ago I would have eaten oreos *wink* and orange juice for lunch ... today? Organic Butternut squash soup and apple slices? Okay, so occasionally I slip with the oreos, but at least they are no longer my main meal. 

I guess the point is, these little babies. They may or may not add years to your life, but if you make an effort to be a good mom, they sure make the years you do have more worthwhile and full of love and happiness. Occasionally (like every, um, day) they may stress you out and it feels like they're taking years away...but look at this! I originally intended to post about how stupid drivers have become. Huh! 

Amazing

Ya know. I'm not pregnant, and who knows when we will be again. BUT we got some bad news last week that's still bothering me. When we found out we were pregnant with Danika, I had Kaizer Permanente for my insurance and it SUCKED. It was so awful. Even the midwives. I was accused several times of being more concerned about my weight than with my baby because I was so sick. Excuse me? Like I WANTED to throw up sixteen times a day? Whatever. 

Luckily, I got my insurance changed and we were referred to an AMAZING family doctor. I had NO idea how lucky we were until I started work as a doula. Our doctor was very hands on and VERY supportive of everything we wanted for our labor and delivery of Danika. We delivered her in an awesome hospital, with wonderful nurses and a doctor who was there with us every step of the way. 

We had Danika's 1 year appt on Tuesday with her - as she is Danika's doctor now, too. SHe told us the news that she and her partner (equally as awesome) were no longer going to be practicing prenatal care. At first I shrugged it off, but it still bugs me. I completely understand her reasoning, but it's amazing how much trust I have placed in this woman and how sad this news has become to me. 

It has opened more doors for our next child - I'd LOVE to have  a water birth at Mountain Midwifery, but would be more comfortable having our doctor available to us, too. It feels like my safety net has been removed and I'm wandering aimlessly hoping to find an OB doctor or midwife who we trust even a smidgen as much as we do with our previous doctor. 

What makes it worse for ME is that I have SEEN the other side in my work as a doula. I've SEEN the doctors who scare their patients into doing unnecessary crap and leave patients feeling emotionally raped of the birth experience they want. I feel for the list of doctors and midwives who have to go through MY Interview! When the time comes that is. 

We, of course, still love and adore our doctor and will continue to see her and bring Danika and future chillin's to her as well. I would write more but ... Grey's Anatomy calls. 

A Peeve

I often comment on how irritated I get that other people have this NEED to comment on my parenting. Well, it's my turn now. Get ready.

I have to write this down, share it and let it go because it makes my blood pressure go up. Ask Nate what happens as a result :) 

I am by far not a perfect parent, but I sure as hell try my best to do what I can right. I get so angry at how flippant and careless people are. It disgusts me! As I drive down the street and see three kids crammed next to their father in a single cab truck .... REALLY? Or a white car whiz by me with a child NO MORE than 18 months old STANDING in the front seat - no carseat or seat belt in sight- her head hanging out the window - YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. I get pissed. And I mean PISSED. ( I hate that word - ask Nate - so that tells you how angry I get)

Don't people KNOW how priceless their children are? How can people NOT read about things that will help their children or their family? Its their CHILD! My latest vent is of course about the H1N1 vaccine ... as well as others :) I am absolutely an advocate for vaccinating - Danika is absolutely getting vaccinated though it may not be your standard schedule. EEEEEERRRRRR! People need to research this crap before subjecting their kid to it! 

Can you tell I'm irritated? Its alright. My next post will be something about MY latest screwup. 

She Walks!

Over the past few weeks Danika has taken several steps ... one here, four there, 2 WAY over yonder ... but tonight ... tonight made every muscle, bone, organ, ligament and fiber in my body smile. Several times she has had this look in her eyes as she stands there, staring at something she REALLY wants, but there is this doubt that you can see penetrate her courage. 

Not tonight, though! I set her down on her feet and she leaned against the couch. I sat in front of her on my knees and coaxed her (how easily these kids turn us into idiots) ... and she came ... EIGHT steps! THen when I got the video camera ... she quit :) Until I moved across the room on the couch and replayed an old video. THAT got her attention! She came walking ACROSS the room just as fast as her little legs could move. AND I got it on video! A couple times she hears me cheering, she stops, claps her hands for a few seconds, then continues on. SOOOOOO CUTE!!!! She laughed the whole time as if to say "SEE! I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT!" Then she collapsed on her knees and scurried the rest of the way over and practically jumped into my arms. My girl :) 

It's amazing how, as a parent, you spend your day teaching them right from wrong (No HITTING! for the six zillionth time!) and daydream about what you might say when their heart gets broken or they have their first kiss. But sometimes, when you watch those little ones, it's very humbling to realize that there are times when you as a parent can learn more than you can teach. I learned tonight. Well, I remembered. I remembered that it's okay to be afraid sometimes, you JUST have to believe in yourself and the person waiting to catch you when you fall. If you've never done something you want to do, go ahead and try! What's the worse that can happen? You'll tumble over a big green monster.  And sometimes, when you succeed (or fail!) you just might get a cookie in the end. Or at least a big hug from momma. 

These little people. They can bring you to tears in seconds. 

One Year Ago

A few minutes old :) 

one month! Nov 08

2 months old Dec. 08

3 months old February 09

4 months old 

5 months March 09

6 months April 09

7 months May 09

8 months June 09

9 months July 09

10 Months old (Sept. 09)

11 Months Oct 1 09

ONE YEAR OLD! 10/30/09

One year. WOW. Wow. wow. wow. People say it goes fast, but I was unprepared for this. Unprepared for how quickly the "firsts" go by, how quickly it all changes. Change is good! I embrace it, and know I have many more firsts and many more memories to be cherished. I adore Danika and love who she is turning into ... but WOW. Where did my teeny tiny shoulder snuggler go? 

All day, Nate and I reminisced over the details of her birth and how vividly we recall them. I wonder. WIll it still be as clear in a year? 5? 10? I wonder. I hope. It was the best day of my life! How sad to forget that. I will not, though, forget the first time I saw her. How beautiful she was, how her little voice squeeked when she cried, and her little lower lip stuck out when she was wimpering. How perfect her little fingernails were and every other little detail was, too. If there was ever a doubt in my mind that God exists, it was squashed in that very moment. It is no "coincidence" that created something so perfect. 

What did we do to celebrate? We had to fantastic parties this month! But today, I needed to be distracted from the tears and the sad feelings I have. SO! We went to Boo at the Zoo! IT was fun- a bit crowded, but still fun to spend that time with my little family. I made eggplant parmesan, pasta and fresh veggies for dinner, and then video taped Danika being sang to as a bowl of mint chip icecream awaited her. Haagen Daaz. Gotta go for the best. And she LOVED it. We captured on video a very loud "MMMMMMM!" :) Love that :) 

Nate thinks I'm silly for being emotional. My mom probably does, too :) And that's okay. I've always been more emotional than most. I cant help it. It makes me sad that my little chub doesn't grab her feet anymore, and doesn't laugh at a panting dog. I can sit a bowl of food on her tray and walk away as she feeds herself. She's independent and stubborn, and has quite the little attitude sometimes! She knows what she wants, and by God she WILL get it. I wonder who she got that from? Hmmm. Not from someone who ran a marathon just because someone once told her she couldn't. Nah. 

Danika is one. I have to accept that and love that. We "do lunch" now ... sharing a bowl of Noodles & Co. mac and cheese as a special treat once a month ... and oogle over cute outfits at Gymboree. Yes, I have taught her how to say "OOOOOH!" I swear she even said "That's cute!" once or twice. I can't wait to paint her toenails, and buy her lipgloss (chapstick), and TEACH HER HOW TO CLEAN UP AFTER HERSELF. Many things to look forward to:) BUt for now, when I start thinking about the bittersweetness of the moment, I remember how tiny she looks in her high chair or changing table and take it all in, so hopefully I CAN remember in 10 years. 

Stuck Inside

A picture of our winter wonderland. 20 inches and counting!

My dog. He's a lover! His favorite place - on the couch, his head on my shoulder when I sit on the floor in front of him. Such a sweet old guy :) 

We have the best dog and Danika just loves him. He lets her do WHATEVER and just takes it. 

Danika's homemade halloween costume - a woodland fairy! 

Danika and Momma Cheering for the Packers. We're silly! 

As you well know, Danika and I have both been sick ... swine flu, regular flu, cold, contagious ear infection (! right !) ... whatever. We've been sick since Friday, which means we have literally not left our house AT ALL for a week now. OMG. The first five days was by choice/need as to not expose her to other yuckies or infect others. The last two days as we both are at about 95%? 

SNOW. Lots and lots and lots of SNOW. Don't get me wrong, I love SNOW and it has been absolutely fascinating watching it build and accumulate and turn the world a peaceful white. But WOW. I think we're at 21 inches now in my little area of town. Ridiculous! With ALL this time on my hands I've decided to think positively and create a list of reasons why this has been good for us ...

1. I don't have to shower. Or blow dry. Or curl. Or apply make up. Or even change my clothes. Because no other person is going out there either and Danika doesn't care. 

2. With that being said, with ever nap Danika takes, I AM in the shower, just to warm up and change things up a bit. How often do you have an excuse to take 4 (long) showers a day?

3. Yoga pants and tee shirts. Nuff said. 

4. My dad's secret recipe for Russian Tea. I've been through a HUGE pot in 2 days. 

5. Comfort Foods ... macaroni and cheese (homemade, of course), Chili, muffins, COOKIES!!!

6. I have learned how to become extremely creative in entertaining a one year old for days on end. 

7. Banjo is catching up on much needed attention and love

8. I have not been able to go shopping. Therefore I have saved lots and lots of money that I would have otherwise spent on crap and gas to get the crap. 

9. I have finally caught up on all my emails. ANd I have updated facebook about 27 times. 

10. And this makes, what, post number 4 in the last 2 days? You lucky people. 

My Family

I cannot tell you how much I love those two. 

Mommy Dating

Sounds great, doesn't it? It's not. It's not great at all. 

In this world of motherhood it sure would be nice to have other mommy friends who get the adventures and struggles of mommyhood. After you have your first baby, APPARENTLY, your other child free friends decide you might be contagious and forget about you. Of course there are some phone calls, facebook comments and an occasional email, but dinner and drinks? Forget about it. 

I never in a million years thought I would be DYING for a "moms night out". Oh how tacky that sounds. But nonetheless I am. SO I joined an online meetup group. And I keep making myself go to these EFFING meet ups. But you know what happens? I stand in the corner and shove my face full of brownies while Danika stands below me whining for her share. And occasionally someone comes over and says hello, but it's precisely at that moment that Danika decides to take off towards the open door or under someones foot, thus I have to run away from that well meaning mommy. 

Nate once called this mommy dating, as did a friend of ours, Ashley. It's like dating again, but not for the intention of finding your one true love, but for finding another mommy friend who puts up with your kid's annoyances and whose kids annoyances are also somewhat tolerable. I've been to parks, meet up groups, playdates, church functions, and the list goes on. And you know how many mommyfriends I've gotten? MMMMM, a few that I talk to regularly, but none that compare to past friendships. 

And you know what's interesting? WHen those now childfree former friends finally do have a kid guess what they'll be doing? Mommydating. And guess who they'll come mommydating to? Me. Because I am the only one who does not seem to be able to get a single date. WHich interestingly enough, was the same way I was when I wanted a boyfriend. Hmmm. 

Guilt

One of the parts I dislike the most about myself, minus the small chest area, is that I find a way to blame myself for EVERYTHING. Nate and I have a fight? My fault, I shouldn't be so sensitive. A kid (when I was teaching) got a poor score? I should have taught him better. A plane crashed into the pentagon? My fault. I had a dream of that exact event three weeks prior and didn't tell anyone. There is a reason for everything, and most often times I try to put that on myself and carry the world. SOme people might call that self absorbed or selfish, but I'd like to think of it as selfless and humbling :) 

So, Danika gets sick this weekend? What's the first thing I do? You guessed it. I blamed myself :) I took her to the mall too many times and let her play in the filthy play area, I took her to the gym daycare, I left her in the walkers room at church last sunday. She's been in every shopping cart in every store at least twice in the last month as we prepared for her parties. It had to be me!  I did that to her. I know in reality kids get sick, and in a way its good for their little immune systems. But really? I Had no idea how hard it would be to watch my little munchkin be so miserable. As they shoved sixteen sticks or swabs up her nose, in her mouth and ears on Saturday, I cried. I hated it. 

You know what frustrates me the most about being a mom? Everybody's input. Everybody has to put in their two cents and usually its about everything I'm doing wrong. UUUUUUUH! Shut up! Honestly, I don't care what you have to say because she's my daughter, not anyone elses! (except Nate). Shes sick? Everyone tells me what's wrong, what I should or shouldn't do, that I'm doing it wrong, or am exaggerating. Hate that! 

SHe's better now. For the most part. Love that! But we're missing most of our halloween activiities this week until she's 100%. I can't give myself another reason to feel bad if she gets sick again! 

Who knew...

A Saturday could be so UNrelaxing? Holy Cow! I'm not writing to get sympathy or anything else, just to vent. Because that's what I do. Especially if chocolate or coffee (pumpkin spice lattes) are not available.

I was so excited for today! We were going to take Danika to the mall for her first Halloween little shindig. I stayed up til about 1am finishing her costume (see above picture), which turned out so cute! I was so excited when I went to bed last night. 

SOME people say that a mother's instinct is a load of bull. Well. Sorry. Not true. In my opinion. When I woke up this morning and heard Danika's cough, my heart sunk to the bottom of my chest and I started crying. Nate, again, thought I was crazy. I swore up and down, "I KNOW she has swine flu!". He basically brushed it off like most people do - and that's okay! SOMETIMES I'm a little overdramatic :) 

The day went on and I just couldnt figure out why, but something told me not to go to the mall. I think it was this little gut feeling that said "cough - not well enough to handle a crowd of kids". There, of course, were other things that went on, but in the end we stayed home. Nate went to work on his papers, and I entertained Danika. I noticed as the day went on, she got warmer and a little fussier. Around 230 I put her down for her SECOND nap! WHat's going on people! SHe never takes two naps, especially when the first one was 2 hours long! 

I went in to check on her, oooooh, about 16 times in that first hour. SHe was still breathing :) But she was looking a little pale and was super hot. Eventually she woke up when I was in there hovering over her, my hand on her back making sure her chest was rising up and down. I pulled her into bed with me and she laid cuddled up next to me and kept sleeping. WHAT?! I admit, I loved it, but it also worried me. 

I took her temp ... woah! 100.5 yowzas! that's hot for my little normally 95 degree girl. I called our on call doc, and she urged me to go to urgent care. Nate and I took her in ... I must say, every time I meet another doctor, I'm more and more grateful for my own. What an awful man. But ... the H1n1 test came back negative, but apparently they're 70% ineffective? Hmmmm. So he prescribed her tamiflu and off we went. 

Let me tell you. Mama Bear Ari went into effect. I went to FOUR pharmacies. Three were closed. One told me "Um, we close in 7 minutes. We dont have time for you." EXCUSE ME!? OOOOOOh. I was ticked. More than ticked. I kinda flew off the handle. Tears were flying, as well as some not so nice kinds of words. I know, it obviously didnt get me anywhere, and being rude is just bleh ... but sometimes. People deserve it. 

It has been 4 hours since we left the urgent care and guess what? Still no tamiflu. Remember that nice ol' doc we had just seen? He wrote the rX but not the authorization for the ONE freaking pharmacy still open to make it. And he's not answering his pages. ASS. I hate that word, but sometimes. He deserves it. Nate's waiting for her medicine like a good husband and daddy. And he's bringing me popsicles. 

Because I'm starting to get a cough now, too. 

Milestones

Well. So much for that last blog series. I made it halfway. Give me some credit ;p

I made it through Danika's first birthday parties. I have not yet made it through her actual birthday, though. We will see how that one goes. I'm already teary eyed! Its amazing to think of where I was a year ago ... my little ol' belly, sore back, and the numerous books I read that could never, ever prepare someone for the actual event of giving birth. Her birthday being on Halloween, it will hopefully be easy enough to keep the day busy and my mind off her turning one. 

S I was thinking the other day of all the special moments I've had with her. A few stick out in my mind the most ... December 28, she smiled at me when I picked her up off the changing table. Oh how my heart melted into a pile of mush. It never really picked itself back up. Shes got me! March 28 she rolled over (I can't remember which way). Yep. I got to see it AND i caught it on video. The look of suprise was priceless. Shortly after that Nate calls me at work and plays a video of her laughing hysterically in the bathtub as he squirted her with bath toys. It was music to my ears! There is nothing sweeter than the sound of her laugh. I will do ANYTHING to hear it as often as I can. July 1, she crawled! She had been rocking back and forth on her hands and knees for weeks and one morning! She decided she knew what she was doing and zoom zoom zoom she went! She was so proud of herself ... my goofy girl and her independence. Finally, in September she started standing all by herself. I walked into the home of our playgroup host, and set her feet on the ground, expecting to hear the normal "plop" as her diaper hiney hits the floor ... BUT I DIDNT! I looked down surprised to see her standing there looking around as though it was a whole new world! 

I'm thinking back on this stuff for many reasons. I absolutely love the little girl she's turning into - so funny, content, stubborn, independent, and the list goes on. But I will miss so much the feet grabbing, the innocent laughter at a panting dog, the fat rolls in her little legs, the squishiness of her cheeks, and the slobbery kisses. Tonight she made her first real attempt at communicating her needs to me with sign language. I was reading her favorite book (touch and feel "day at the zoo") and put it on the floor. She picked it up, handed it to me and signed "more!" Oh how my already melted heart dissolved even more. It was a pretty special moment knowing we had "talked". She's signed water, duck, fan, light, and milk but none of them really meant much other than she knew what those objects were. 

Nate's telling me to stop crying and enjoy the fact that she can walk soon so he can teach her to throw a football. So I guess I have to stop writing about it. For now :) Many more memories shared to come in the next few weeks! 

A side note

I feel guilty sometimes how busy we are. I feel like we're constantly going going going. But it also feels all justified, as though there is a VERY good reason to do everything we do. Plus, it drives me NUTS to be in this teeny tiny apartment all stinking day. Soon enough, though ... the winter days will take over and I will be too scared to get on the roads. Any fun ideas I can start preparing for while were stuck inside?? Please share! 

On another note. Why is it that people (especially the old ones) have the inability to keep their grimy hands off my kid? I mean, really. I know they have good intentions (they better have good intentions), but EWWWWWW. Hello! Swine flu! My sweet baby has made it almost a full year without anyhting more than a sniffle for a few days. I'm kinda proud of that. But I'm realizing that I have to start being more direct and almost rude, because thats what it takes nowadays. People dont seem to hear or listen to nice anymore. 

That is all. 

Whirlwind Wednesday

SOrry I dont have any entertaining pictures to share. Yet. :) 

WHew! Whirlwind Wednesday is OVER. I love it but it also drives me nuts how busy Wednesdays are. My poor Banjo dog gets left to his lonesome and usually resorts to destroying the entire diaper pail. Eck. Love that guy. 

Danika, Danika, Danika. What a girl! SHe slept in til EIGHT! I love it. I got a shower (check), brushed my teeth (check ... kira!), blow dried my hair, took the dog out AND got her breakfast ready before she was out of bed! Look at me! I'm so good. We did our morning routine, and whirled out the door, ready for the day ahead. 

We have a playgroup from church every Wednesday at nine. What a neato frito group of ladies - all different ages, but all kinda in the same general area of life. And for once, thanks to Danika's desire to sleep this morning, I was the best looking one! Yes! (Check). 

I would also like to share that after playgroup we zinged right over to sprouts for double coupon day. LOVE THAT STORE!!!!! I have to tell you I spent less than 5 dollars and I got 9 pounds of organic apples, bananas and a bottle of peach green tea to perk me up. Am I good or what? One of the many reasons Nate married me (that would be my incredible thriftiness). 

Then we headed over to one of my favorite places EVER ... Boulder, for her sign language class. Let me tell you. What an awesome time. It is so neat to see Dani interacting with other kiddos, even though that "interacting" may just be grabbing a toy from them (or vice versa. my kid doesn't do that!) or knocking them over (again... not my kid). When we sing our songs as we sign, the little bitties start doing it along with us! HOW FUN!!!! We both have a blast. ANd I have the cutest baby in there. I do. 

In the afternoon, we went to the mall to take advantage of a really awesome sale at Gymboree. Another favorite place! Maybe I should just write a blog listinga ll my favorite places. Anyway, I decided to relax a bit and walk around. Something about the mall is just ... soothing. Ahhhh. 

Relax time was over, so we headed home for a nap. A short nap, surprise surprise. Then! We ran to the post office and to Hobby Lobby ... details later! 

After dinner, it appeared as though that sweet girl of mine MIGHT be getting tired. And she was. So I put her to bed. But apparently she thought it was just an extended nap. So we played some more and more and freaking more. Love that girl, but really? A break would be nice occasionally! Eventually she went to bed AND I FINALLY got to start making her tutu skirt for her party. 

Catching UP!

Sorry folks! I couldn't finish Monday's post yesterday BECAUSE ...  I was electrocuted. Seriously, I was. My power cord to my mac has been doing funny things, but yesterday! I was plugging it in and out of the outlet came a big ZAP and yowzas! I was on the floor, dizzy as a dugout. What? Yep. good thing Danika was in her high chair. The good thing that came out of that? After several weeks of being stubborn, I finally hopped on the treadmill and ran 3 miles, no issue! LOVE that! Maybe I just need a little electricity in my life to get moving. Forget coffee. 

So, Dani woke me up at 7 again this morning. Quite early, if you ask me, after a FREAKING 2am wake up just "to play." My lovely daughter. She had a blast, I had very irritated feelings. Well, we lolligagged, ate breakfast, read books, played on the floor. Until I looked up and saw on the microwave... 8:29! YAAAAAH! What?! An hour and a half goes by much quicker when you're not looking at the clock. 

Why is that important? Um, because. I was supposed to be out of the house by 845. Remember that green chili frittata? Yep. people were waiting on that. Forget the shower, or even clean clothes. I brushed my teeth, slapped a hankercheif on my head, a clean diaper on her and out the door we went. We had to turn around 4 minutes later for the frittata. Dang it. 

We both enjoyed our time at MOPS. there was a great speaker lady. She talked about something. Rest, I think. Hmmm. Those inspirational talkers must do it for themselvs because there just really isnt any practicality in them. Dani was SO tired after MOPS, so I made her eat lunch so she would hopefully take a long nap. She did. 27 minutes. YEEEEEES! 

I finally got that shower and blow dried hair! Check! Check! Two things off the list! Off we went again - to the mall. To replace that daggon power cord. There was a gay guy who helped me - super nice! Super intuitive. Before I left, he says "There ya go! Check that off your to do list!" I replied "You can tell I have a to do list?" He gives me a pitiful look ... "Oh honey. Absolutely. You look a little stressed." Yikes. I had to purchase a pumpkin spice latte to combat that stressed out look. 

We head home, stopping at the post office. Dani had a snack before her hopefully next long nap ... 18 minutes! I'm on a roll! During that time I managed to plan my private childbirth class agenda for tonight. I heated up that leftover macaroni and cheese? Only to hear Danika crying, which continued until I let her eat nearly my entire bowl of macaroni and cheese. So much for dinner. 

Daddy walked in just in time to hear Danika's new trick. Before I share ... I am a LADY and rarely do this. But I farted. And Danika's respones to that? She blows raspberries. Yep, she now imitates farts. My daughter, folks. Love it. 

I headed off to my childbirth class and left my farting through her mouth daughter in the hands of Nate. Who I'm sure taught her how to fart through her nose. 

Danika's Week - Monday!

So, a long time ago, I had the idea of documenting a week in the life of a stay at home mommy of Danika! I figured now is as good of a time as ever, so why not? 

Monday morning. 

7:08 am : Nate leaves for work, Ari is snuggled down next to Banjo in her fabulous down comforter. Danika is heard singing in her crib. 

7:10 am: Danika is now talking to her cabbage patch doll, as witnessed by Ari on the video monitor. 

7:22 am : Ari finally drags herself out of bed to shoosh the screaming baby. 

7:30 am: Danika is greeted by Poppy on the computer screen (ichat) obnoxiously waking Danika up with "Kiss the baby!"Danika stares blankly at Poppy, then proceeds to giggly profusely at Oma when she starts singing "A says 'ah' for apple, B says 'buh' for balloon..." 

All the while, Danika is furiously shoving blueberry waffle and banana flavored yobaby in her face. 

8:00 am: Recovery from ichat. Danika and Ari read several books together (her favorite : touch and feel zoo books) Ari facebooks about how much she loves Danika, and Danika sings as she cruises around the living room, picking up and throwing down every single toy. 

9:30 am: Break time! Danika naps, Ari grabs a quick shower and breakfast. 

It is now 10:15, Ari is blogging instead of folding the massive pile of laundry awaiting her :) I will add pictures later (not of the laundry, but of Danika's Monday). 

Dani woke up around 1045, and we enjoyed a nice lunch together. Ari had... you guessed it! A caprese salad. And then! We were off! To Wal Mart and Michaels for birthday party supplies. We made it home just in time to run to the gym ... Dani played with her buddies in daycare and Ari had a nice 3 mile jog. Love it! 

We got home and made dinner together. Well, really, Ari made dinner (homemade mac and cheese, and then fried apples and sweet potatoes, and corn) and Danika enjoyed a short baby enstein video followed by some whining until she got fed. 

THEN! The best part. Daddy came home! That would be Nate. I love watching them play together. She giggles endlessly as he throws her into the air and tickles her with his nose. SUch a good dad! He bathes her and puts her to bed .... while Ari continues .... BAKING! AH! What?

Yep. Ari finally got around to making that green chile frittata ... um, delicious! It turned out great. I took a picture. No one believes me when I make good food. While the frittata was in the oven, I made pie crust dough and pumpkin pie filling. But that did not turn out so good. Well, let me rephrase. The cream cheese did not turn out so good. BUT that's okay! I'll tell you why in a minute. So ... my pumpkin cookie cutter was a bit big, so I could only fit 6 mini punkin pies into my minimuffin pan for each (the first) batch. GOOD THING. Because here's why. When I added cream cheese to the filling, it wasn't soft enough so it looked like dandruff in my pumpkin pie filling. APpetizing, eh? Eh. WEll, I figured "Well, the oven is hot, so it will melt!" Wrong. It looked like baked dandruff in pumkin pies. 

Here's the good part .... I figured, EH Castle is on soon I might as well clean up and try again in a few days. I cleaned up the whole kitchen! AND THEN as I was putting my dandruff laden pumpkin pie filling in the freezer ... yep, I pulled an Ari. It dropped and splattered everywhere. THAT, my friends, is why I have a dog :) 

So, I have to try again. And I ate those 6 pumpkin pie bites sprinkled with cream cheese dandruff so no one else would have to. 

I ended my hectic day snuggled up with my Nato watching his hotness himself, Mr. Castle :) 

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And so it begins, folks, so it begins. The countdown (5 days and a wakeup!) until the madness of Danika's second first birthday party! I can't wait! As much as I complain and stress, I love every minute of it. 

So, what's on the agenda today? Hmmmmm. I'm thinking we'll make our pumpkin pretzels, and possibly her pumpkin birthday crown. 

Her buddy, Braiden has his first birthday party the day after (Sunday), so we're also in the process of making his present, too! Danika got him a book (THat's not my monster!) - super super cute! And we picked up a few monster handpuppets and bath squeezies from the dollar bin at Target. NOW! I just have to find some time to sew him the monster from his new book. 

As you will see tomorrow, we have MOPS every other tuesday. It is my groups' week to make breakfast for 75 ladies. I am going to try my hand at a vegetarian eggg casserole. I'm making apples and fruit dip as a backup. because I. am. not. a. cook. AND! gala apples are three pounds for a buck at sprouts. which means there will be lots of apples at Danika's party. 

Why do I do it?

the very hungry caterpillar party

what I think of this hat

it's so much better with my eyes closed

the birthday girl and her fancy bib from Oma 

how old are you dani? (I'm 1!) Her fancy eric carle birthday outfit

the very hungry caterpillar cake

the Banks kids at Ben/Andrea's wedding. these are my people.

When I married Nate, I was so excited to plan the wedding, sort out all the minor details no one but me would notice, and have in my eyes, the perfect wedding. As the day got closer, I realized how ridiculous it was that I was stressing over the perfect shade of green for the marbles in my fish vases. Really? Really. Has a single person confronted me over the choice of jade green marbles in my centerpiece. Not one. I was actually quite jealous of my sister Victoria's wedding, as it was so low key and enjoyable for everyone. No one was snapping at the wedding planner and tricking her into letting my grandparents walk themselves down the isle. My parents and sisters had to deal with me, and of course, pitched in quite a bit of their own money, which I didnt enjoy watching either. I secretly swore that I would never go over the top again, and Danika will elope.

SO...when the day comes for Danika's first birthday party, what do I do? Do I hold a casual barbeque or have a desserts only gathering for a short and simple little shindig? Like I promised myself I would? Um, the answer would be no. Of course not! I enjoy putting myself through agony over the type of hotdog I might choose, or the number of vienna sausages I had to buy. I let my tension and anxiety get to me, and put, again, my sisters and parents through the joy of watching THAT. Not fun. And for what? Pictures? I guess! Will Danika remember it? Nah. But she will have some good pictures, that's for sure. 

The day turned out to be quite fun, though I didnt get to socialize with my old friends as much as I'd like to. It was fun watching my old college drinking buddies running around with little 2 year olds. It seemed as if we were taking turns showing off our children's temper tantrums to see whose could be the loudest and most dramatic. Danika didn't win. This time. She was too busy shoving chocolate cake in her pie hole and liking strawberry frosting off every. single. finger. I wonder where she learned that? Hmm. I (Ariana) do not lick my fingers. I use a napkin like a civilized human being. Who does that leave? Nate. Brady. or my DAD. 

The house was complete with a caterpillar in the front yard, red balloons attached to long skinny green string, a caterpillar picture from showing months 0-11, caterpillars in coccoons (hotdogs), kabobs with everything the very hungry caterpillar ate, miniature caramel aples,, cupcakes formed in the shape of a caterpillar, and lime and raspberry sherbert. I had to do something healthier. The kiddos went home with caterpillar headbands, caterpillar eggs (easter egg with playdough), and a felt very hungry caterpillar. It was a good time. I enjoyed putting it together. 

Now the question is. What did I learn from all this? I have her Denver party coming up next Saturday. Hmmmm. I learned to delegate, that's what I learned. :) Just joking (mom and tori!). 

Eh. I learned that the pictures will be good because its my baby girl in them (and me!). I just have to get the BIG details right and the small things wont matter. I also learned that on my grocery list in very tiny letters so no one can see, will be "wine." I think I might just have a glass BEFORE rather than after the next time around. 

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26.2

That's right folks. That is a BIG number. In fact, it's three digits! almost 4 years ago, I joined the teaching crew at Bookcliff Middle School. In that crowd, I met several folks that I still adore, that really pushed me to think outside the box in many ways. One of them included the challenge of running my first marathon. In January of 2006, I started training. Partially to prove myself to them, partially to prove myself to myself and partially to impress that boyfriend I had at the time. I happened to accomplish all three :) In June of 2006 I wandered up the road to Steamboat Springs and entered myself into a group of people who I consider to be absolutely nuts. The morning of the race, I sluggishly woke up to several phone calls from my father offering advice on how to finish this thing called a marathon. Though I doubt he believes me, I took his advice and stuffed a pack of almonds in my sock and a bottle of water into my waistband and hopped on the bus that would carry us up another 2000 feet straight up a mountain. 

I got off the bus and about passed out. For several reasons. 1. the reality of the ridiculousness of this idea hit me. 2. it was unbelievably cold. in JUNE. 3. there were lots of really hot men. 4. the altitude reached nearly 11000. WOOPS. Oh well. No turning back, right? the shot gun went off, and so did I, without really realizing it. I did good running with my fellow teachers for a couple miles. Then I saw THE HILL. I did not train for THE HILL. What's a girl to do?I walked :) 

I could tell you every detail of that 26.2 miles. But I won't. I will tell you that about 10 miles into it, my feet went numb and apparntly started turning in under my legs and I had no idea. Until a paramedic shared that information with me. And followed me. the. rest. of. the. way. 

But I finished. 6 hours and 2 seconds later. REALLY??? yes. really. And guess what? I want to do it again! Crazy, I know. 

I love that I have this ridiculous goal to accomplish. I love that I know I can do it. So... be on the lookout for my 26.2 training updates. Coming soon :)