Guess What?

I'm going to write about Danika tonight. Again. And sewing. And teaching. Surprising, eh? 

Nate is on a men's retreat with our church this weekend (yay!) so I had a Saturday night all to myself. So guess what I did? I sewed :) I made my first purse. And while sewing, (without any wine) I had some thoughts. I'll share ...

I made a lot of comparisons between sewing and teaching. It's late and I just got finished with a very tiring and grueling project, so bare with me. I'm going to give you some trueisms about sewing, and then in parenthesis will write how it compares to teaching. K? Here we go. 

In the beginning of either sewing in general or a new project (the beginning of teaching or the beginning of a new school year) you usually start out pretty excited. By the end of it (project or school year) you're just sicking of looking at your new "creation" (student) and just want to go to bed. Or drink wine. Or both. Each option is always preceeded by a chowing down of dark chocolate. 

Each project (student) can always be made cute by your choice of good fabric (student with wonderful attitude, manners, parents). 

It comes down to choosing good fabric (the right curriculum) to make a project "work". 

Sometimes you have to sing just to get yourself through. And drink wine. And eat dark chocolate.

Occasionally, it's best just to toss the pattern/instructions (lesson plan/curriculum) and do your own thing. It usually winds up turning out pretty good in the end, anyway. 

Some patterns (students) don't come with instructions. Sometimes you have to try a bazillion different things to get one teeny tiny step forward. 

You can spend hours, or days, on one particular project (lesson) and work your butt off on it. In the end, the boss (sewing - danika, teaching - principal or students or parents) don't give a rip how much effort went into it. 

No matter how many times you rip out seams, have to rethread your machine or detangle tangles (all screwed up lesson plans) - the end result (growth in students) often times looks pretty darn good. 

Sometimes, you have to let the small things (Sewing=any minor screwup, teaching=letting kids use playdough to learn) go, or at least hide them very well. 

And sometimes. When you get going ... and can't stop ... you have to remind yourself to go pee. 

The end result of your project usually doesn't show how much time and effort went into it. This applies to how those FREAKING (I would really like to use another word there) GOSH DARN CSAP scores don't do a darn bit of justice to the amount of blood, sweat and tears go into each and every student. Nor does it show the amount of hours you spent working at nights or weekends. 

Sometimes you need to throw a pizza party in the middle of the day (project) "just because."

And sometimes, you want to throw it (project, student, parent, boss, lesson plan) out the door and lock it. And then you want to drink some wine, eat dark chocolate, and go to bed, only to deal with it the next morning. 

When you finish a project, you display it with pride and joy because YOU know how awesome it turned out. This applies to students. 

When you make a project for someone else, it's kinda sad to give it away. This applies to sending students on to the next grade, hoping your hard work doesn't get screwed up by some old fart of a teacher who doesn't know squat anymore. 

I miss teaching. Can you tell? I miss my kids, making up fun lesson plans and surprising kids with fun ways to learn. I wish I could open my own school, do everything my way, and laugh and skip with glee as my FREAKING GOSH DARN test scores outshine the rest of Colorado. Then all those ridiculous previous administrators would finally see that I was right. 

____________________________________________________________________

I see God each day

I don't really listen to the radio a lot anymore. But I used to listen to country music ALOT. And one song came out when I was pregnant. I used to well up with tears every time I heard it, but I just blamed it on pregnancy hormones. Now I still well up, but I can't blame it on pregnancy, postpartum or breastfeeding. It sucks not to have an excuse anymore. Now I have to just humbly admit the fact that I'm totally and completely in love with my daughter in a way that I just can't explain and I can't help the tears. So get over it. I cry. 

I'll share the lyrics below, but the gist of the song is that all the small miracles in life, such as a pregnant momma, new baby, or simply a budding flower all show us the presence of God in our daily lives. I'd say a good 4 times a week that song pops into my head and I have to maintain my composure as Danika giggles her way through grocery shopping at target (who enjoys THAT?) or simply grabs my finger with her tiny hand. She is such a miracle and gift. And guess what? I'm crying again :p Get over it. I hope when she's 13 I'll still feel this way. 

My gift, a few minutes after she was born

I Saw God Today (George Straight)

I just walked down the street to the coffee shop
had to take a break 
I'd been by her side for eighteen hours straight
I saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk
pushing up through the concrete
like it was planted right there for me to see
the flashin' lights, the honkin' horns
all seemed to fade away
in the shadow of that hospital at 5:08
I saw God today

Chorus:
I've been to church
I've read the book
I know He's here, but I don't look
near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I'd just slow down to stop and stare
opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today

I saw a couple walking by they were holding hands
Man, she had that glow
yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show
I stood there for a minute takin' in the sky
lost in that sunset
a splash of amber melted in the shades of red

Chorus

I got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleeping like a rock
My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes
My brand new baby girl
She's a miracle 
I saw God today