Amazing

Ya know. I'm not pregnant, and who knows when we will be again. BUT we got some bad news last week that's still bothering me. When we found out we were pregnant with Danika, I had Kaizer Permanente for my insurance and it SUCKED. It was so awful. Even the midwives. I was accused several times of being more concerned about my weight than with my baby because I was so sick. Excuse me? Like I WANTED to throw up sixteen times a day? Whatever. 

Luckily, I got my insurance changed and we were referred to an AMAZING family doctor. I had NO idea how lucky we were until I started work as a doula. Our doctor was very hands on and VERY supportive of everything we wanted for our labor and delivery of Danika. We delivered her in an awesome hospital, with wonderful nurses and a doctor who was there with us every step of the way. 

We had Danika's 1 year appt on Tuesday with her - as she is Danika's doctor now, too. SHe told us the news that she and her partner (equally as awesome) were no longer going to be practicing prenatal care. At first I shrugged it off, but it still bugs me. I completely understand her reasoning, but it's amazing how much trust I have placed in this woman and how sad this news has become to me. 

It has opened more doors for our next child - I'd LOVE to have  a water birth at Mountain Midwifery, but would be more comfortable having our doctor available to us, too. It feels like my safety net has been removed and I'm wandering aimlessly hoping to find an OB doctor or midwife who we trust even a smidgen as much as we do with our previous doctor. 

What makes it worse for ME is that I have SEEN the other side in my work as a doula. I've SEEN the doctors who scare their patients into doing unnecessary crap and leave patients feeling emotionally raped of the birth experience they want. I feel for the list of doctors and midwives who have to go through MY Interview! When the time comes that is. 

We, of course, still love and adore our doctor and will continue to see her and bring Danika and future chillin's to her as well. I would write more but ... Grey's Anatomy calls.