Forgotten

Do you have those moments when you feel invisible? Like the time when someone pulls right out in front of you and goes 1/2 of the speed limit? Or the times when you sit at a restaurant table waiting 10 minutes or more for a server to approach you? Lately I feel invisible. 

Or maybe it's more like forgotten. I feel like I try SO hard NOT to be the person that always gets taken advantage of, that somehow I've completely missed the boat and am the epitomy of that person. I guess maybe it's loneliness ... that I really want to be everyone's friend, and be recognized as the person who will do anything for them (because I will) ... that I get overlooked all the time. Maybe it's because people think I just don't care? Or maybe they're too busy running over me to notice that I DO, in fact, care. 

I don't blame people - just myself. I blame myself for not speaking up loud enough or enough times when something is important. I blame myself for bending over backwards for people who I know wont do the same for me. I blame myself for not seeking out the right type of people. I really don't think people intend to treat me the way they do - some, maybe - but most, nah. 

Lately I feel like the invisible work horse. I feel like I'm constantly going. Going going going going. And rarely is it ever for my benefit. Mostly for Nate, Danika (mostly Danika), family, friends ... occasionally it's because I REALLY want to do something despite knowing my limitations. But all that I do is unrecognized and unappreciated by many. I dont expect a thank you or a present or any form of recognition ... but it sure would be nice to know that my feelings matter to those people that I work so hard for and that I'm recognized as person.